When awkwardness became a simple Happiness

I just want to share this awesome experience I had yesterday. I've got to undergo some medical examination for this year which is normally offered to employees of private companies. I was already done with the other procedures/tests, then came the last one. I was waiting in queue. Somebody told me that one of the doctor is actually good looking. It never hit not until I met the actual physician. First, she checked on my pulse. She said "nagpapalpitate ka"!? I just said I was nervous. Which is true, not because I am scrared or anything, but I was feeling nervous in front of her. She's actually cute. Probably she's in her middle twenties to early thirties. Very girly, too. When she's talking, she's having an eye contact to me. It felt awkward. But it is an assurance that the doctor is truly concern to you. It started very formal, but after awhile, it became a casual conversation. It feels like I am not being examined/checked for anything. It feels good talking to her. Then when she started talking about the last thing she needs to check, I was really getting nervous about it. Then I asked her a very funny question. "Wala na bang ibang paraan?" She looked to my eyes, and said "Wala na". "Seryoso?" "Oo", she said. "I'm gonna waived it, bata pa naman ako e, wala naman akong ginagawa ng masama", I said. Then, she looked at me again and laughed. "Hahaha. Ikaw talaga". That's when I see how beautiful her smile is. Simple pero maganda. Thank you doc Ms. A.A Pangan. I even memorized her full name but Im not gonna write it here. 

March 25, 2015 Wednesday.

Reminiscing to forgetting

March 17, 2015 Tuesday

I found the letter that you gave me before we parted ways few years back. You gave this to me in the last day of the semester when we were in our fourth year in college. I was so touched when I received it. It negates all the doubtful thoughts in my mind. You truly care about me then. I believe all the things you wrote there. Communication will not stop and you will always be there for me. "Hindi ako makakalimot". That's what exactly you said there. Pero nasaan ka ngayon. Para akong tanga. Lagi mo na lang akong pinagmumukang tanga. I sent a private message in Viber to know of it's true that you are leaving for Dubai. You never replied to me. Inisip ko nun baka wala kang Internet connection. But when I checked your account, you were able to changed you display picture after my last message. When you left, I sent a private message again thru Facebook. I said to take care yourself. Then you said thank you. Yes, I was not in a position to demand any explanation on why you are not telling me. Pero masakit. I took the courage to talk to you like nothing happened between us. That we are okay. Pero wala e. Parang wala tayong pinagsamahan kung tratuhin mo ko. Acquaintance. Dating kakilala. Dapat ata ganun na rin ako sayo. I admit. This past few days, ikaw ang iniisip ko. Laging ikaw. Sa pagtulog ko. Pagbangon ko. Iniisip ko sayang yung pagkakaibigan. But the question is do you really think of me as a friend? O palabas mo lang lahat yun? Parang hindi na kita kilala. Sana maisip mo na sa lahat ng taong itinuring mong kaibigan, ako yung pinakatotoong nagmamalasakit sa iyo. Pero sana marealize mo na yun kasi nakakapagod maghintay. I always think of you as a friend. Once you're here in my heart, you stayed there forever.

Waiting In Vain?

February 28, 2015

Pilit kitang iniiwasan. Pero mahirap. Sobra. Ayaw ko ng maniwala pa. Sa mga gestures mo, sa mga thoughful things na sinasabi mo. I've had enough. Gusto kong makita mo ko. Pero hindi naten kailangan mag-usap. I will wait for you to ask me. I wanted you to notice that something is different between us. Maghihintay ako. Pero ang mahirap dito, baka maghintay ako sa wala. I really don't know if I matter to you. Eto na naman ako. Naghihintay ng walang kasiguruhan. I hope this will all passed. I getting tired of it.