Reminiscing to forgetting

March 17, 2015 Tuesday

I found the letter that you gave me before we parted ways few years back. You gave this to me in the last day of the semester when we were in our fourth year in college. I was so touched when I received it. It negates all the doubtful thoughts in my mind. You truly care about me then. I believe all the things you wrote there. Communication will not stop and you will always be there for me. "Hindi ako makakalimot". That's what exactly you said there. Pero nasaan ka ngayon. Para akong tanga. Lagi mo na lang akong pinagmumukang tanga. I sent a private message in Viber to know of it's true that you are leaving for Dubai. You never replied to me. Inisip ko nun baka wala kang Internet connection. But when I checked your account, you were able to changed you display picture after my last message. When you left, I sent a private message again thru Facebook. I said to take care yourself. Then you said thank you. Yes, I was not in a position to demand any explanation on why you are not telling me. Pero masakit. I took the courage to talk to you like nothing happened between us. That we are okay. Pero wala e. Parang wala tayong pinagsamahan kung tratuhin mo ko. Acquaintance. Dating kakilala. Dapat ata ganun na rin ako sayo. I admit. This past few days, ikaw ang iniisip ko. Laging ikaw. Sa pagtulog ko. Pagbangon ko. Iniisip ko sayang yung pagkakaibigan. But the question is do you really think of me as a friend? O palabas mo lang lahat yun? Parang hindi na kita kilala. Sana maisip mo na sa lahat ng taong itinuring mong kaibigan, ako yung pinakatotoong nagmamalasakit sa iyo. Pero sana marealize mo na yun kasi nakakapagod maghintay. I always think of you as a friend. Once you're here in my heart, you stayed there forever.